Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I have my independence... now...

I had a meeting this morning with my fantastic line manager. We are always so productive in our meetings but its not without personality or the highs and lows of emotion (mostly mine i'll admit). We have a fine balance and i look forward to our weekly catch ups.

This week we had a longer catch up than normal, mostly as there were a few extra things to be done. Not always bad as we did get to a cafe today for my diet coke top up.

One topic of conversation was the expression from some parents within the church i work for of how their teen wasn't happy on a Sunday morning, in fact getting them to church was a task of difficulty.

It is hard as a youth worker not to take it personally, or at least its hard for me until I have actually made myself look at the facts and stare at the whys of the situation that i realise its (hopefully) unlikely to be a personal dislike. It is a relational role, this are personal!

But in the cold hard light of reality, reflection and good conversation things are clearer.

I know that church is an institution that has created many battles issues and pain both on a national scale and also right in the hearts of individuals. But i still believe its the future. This doesn't make things any easier as a 12 year old growing up within a culture that seems to have no place for faith, community or the awareness of others. (yes i AM making sweeping statements that need to be tidied up and explained but thats not for now and i mean no harm to anyone in or out of the Christian faith)

I am a massive fan of understanding the development of the person from childhood to teenage to adulthood. Nothing is more exciting for a parent of a baby to watch it take their first steps or talk clearly. For me its the same with teenagers.

The honour of watching them grow into independence, to develop their own world understanding and start to see (and question) who they are and define the 'me' rather than the family identity they have had (and will have to a lesser degree).

But how hard is that when you still have your parents telling you you must attend a group that at this moment in time you just don't like or agree with.

I believe church is an important and valued part of life- a place to explore meaning, to understand the world around us and to seek love in the purest form.

But as a teenager you want to start making claims for independence. You want to be able to choose what you engage with. And i complete agree with this. Its hard for parents, the role you had for the last 11/12 years is now changing and id guess most aren't ready for that. (Can you ever be prepared to allow the person you have cared for, loved and kepis safe wander a little further away than you are used to?!)

The drive then for a parent to share their faith, want their child to grow into a balanced adult and desire for the best of is a powerful one. One that then clashes with the teenage drive for being, thinking and choosing to do things differently- in essence rebel.

What i have been reflecting on is even if a youth person wants to know more of the Christian faith, wants to continue to seek to know more of church community they fact their parents 'make' them go is likely to be a negative.

I haven't a clue how you change this- in fact i don't think you can or even should. We all remember those moments when we felt we were, for the first time, ourselves and not just a child anymore... it normally came with a plea of rebellious.

I guess my role then is to listen. To offer the opportunity to say what is wrong, why their parents are wrong and explore what we can do even if they don't want to be somewhere.

After all, isn't the best party the one you didn't want to go to but end up having a fantastic and unexpected time and staying to the end?

Time to get back to planning...

x

Monday, January 23, 2012

I'm not going to promise but...

The face of someone who thinks she wants to return

The face of someone who thinks she wants to return

I am back! Again...

Part of my new(ish) job is to help in a songwriting group. I admit this isn't my core skills or even remotely at my finger tips but it's fun and an honour to be a part of it all the same.

Last week we had the challenge of starting new songs. We've been working on covers for a while now.

I dawned on me I haven't a clue how I would start writing a song, so we explored this together. The youth are amazing and honest with what they thing. I tried to inspire with a mind map, no clue it it helped, we'll see with that one.

But it got me pondering about my blogging. The only words based creative outlet I have or at least did have. I haven't really blogged for well over a year... but I realised as we were looking at the different possible topics of inspiration for song writing how I wanted to join in. Not necessaryly songs, but to write a reaction to 'something'

So, I am back again but I'm not going to make promises I'll be blogging daily, weekly or even monthly. But I'm going to give it a go, come back to this form of engagement and see how far I get!

life is a journey, walk with me for a while!

x