The thin line...

Jesus said to keep forgiving but he also said don't be a door mat. The writer of most New testament Paul points out we have a duty to help others learn from their mistakes.

At work we try and show grace (rather than punishment, acceptance) however this has led to action. Some of the young people have taken advantage of this and so a cycle of no or little learning has been put in an unhelpful motion.

So we are down to zero tolerance of bad behaviour. Forgiveness now comes at a price. It did before, just we took it rather than paying it out.

But this has pushed itself to my own life.

I get pretty hurt, mostly from my own expectations upon others not being fulfilled... This mostly comes down to my naive heart wishing for people to behave towards me how I to them.

When someone wrongs you, especially not knowing it, what should our reaction be? Forgiveness. But what if you don't/can't/won't? Because I don't say anything nothing changes, nothing stops, nothing moves on.

So then a place of sharing and learning is created... But this place is dangerous. It becomes a place of open wounds. Feelings are involved and you leave security.

The scary thing is just how thin the line is we walk between the lie and truth... How much either side if not dealt with carefully and with wisdom it becomes so dangerous, so distorting and so destructive for all involved.

When is the right time to just let things pass, let go and forgive. And when is it right to stand up and deal out what has been happening... With the possible punishment/consequence. And of course with that I hope forgiveness...

I don't know if we can ever know this wisdom fully by ourselves, but my real fear what I destroy if I take the action I know I should.

X

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Norman...

struggling to sleep do blog it is!

walking home from a meeting I had a text from the mum to say Norman Wisdom had died.

very sad, but at 95 years it's not the most unexpected thing to happen. but no matter the age it's still hard, and you'll always miss them.

however Normans passing has lead me down a path of thinking I was hoping to avoid sharing, but I want to... more of a process than a make do thing.

it was the first anniversary of my dads death 4 days ago. apart from a brief meeting in the morning I spent most of the day just relaxing and watching some tv. I just wanted to 'be' and with very little choice as many others were busy. (but a massive heart felt love to those who brought me comfort during the day!)

with Norman dying today I can't help but reflect on what it means to lose someone so pivotal in your life... no matter how long your relationship is, how good or bad it is or even if there is no relationship... the loss of a father is one that holds so much.

a dads role differs from a mothers (both equally important) but holds so much responsibly for who you are, how you see the world and indeed how the world sees you.

it's stuck me tonight that no matter if your father lives to be 100 and you get to 75 before you are divided or if you never even meet them, the hold they leave can never be replaced.

so I write this reminding myself not to expect to fill that gap with another father figure, but also not to simple wish to step over it all and forget the hole that's left. but to respect the man he was and who he created in me. to allow the void to heal and to carry the wound with pride and remembrance...

we should all allow the fact our parents will die to be part of our life no matter when it happens to be a part of our life... there is a place to greave, celebrate and to grow on...

I miss him tremendously, and that will never go, but this doesn't stop me continuing to be his daughter is the life today and tomorrow...

x

listening to: foy vance, be with me.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]