Saturday, May 14, 2011

Your help please...

ok... this is the current plan of action...

start to move out of my home at the start of June... not a bad plan, but thee are a few hitches. I don't have a home to move into rather just bunking down with friends who have spare beds. I also need to keep working... life continues

so... with stress levels reaching melting point with far too much on my plate I look to my social networking skills to see what you can suggest I need to remember not to put into storage.

clearly I need clothes... but it's the silly things like work stuff and everyday use that you take for granted I want to avoid missing...

so... comment, tweet, text, emaill and message your suggestions please!

look forward to hearing what you can come up with!

thank you

x

Thursday, May 12, 2011

I need to be honest...

This past week I feel like my heart has been broken over and over...

Over bad news in letters
Over empty emails
Over text
Over silence

What grieves me the most is that all these 'heart breaking' things are all within my own world... not anyone else's.

How I have grown to feel after a series of knock backs and rejects in this last week has created a self-centred person. I dislike who it's creates in me.

I simply write this it find accountability to myself in a public declaration.

I'm hurt, alone, and frustrated.

I don't know if I have the answers, but I trust they will be given to me when I need them

x

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Totally struggling to know what to say...

But I know I need to do something productive...
But this productive streak is simply avoidance. It requires me to be patient, it needs me to wait and it drives me to want to be a little crazy...

What I find hardest is not really sharing what is happening. I have nothing to hide, but what is going on right is part of my private life.

And so my ramble starts to take shape...

I'm starting to look for a new job... This by itself is a little scary, but I'm not worried about that... But it has highlighted something about what I want to address as I leave one chapter of my life and start another.

The difference between my personal and private life...

As a single woman with very little family work takes over... I hope this is a normal thing, but even more so when your job is your calling. But this comes at a cost, my status as a single woman with very little family does not change.

And so while I have a pretty much blank sheet for my new start... I do want to find a between balance... I want to say 'I want a life'. But that makes it sound like I don't like what I have now... I do, I'm thankful for all I do, have experienced and learnt.

But how do I DO that?!

If I am called to serve somewhere then the balance of my personal and professional life be dictated by that calling... And there is my answer... If I am CALLED then the balance will be there, this is were faith comes in... And the stakes raise in the worry factor, which becomes a silly cycle of frustration, control, recognition and obedience.

So... My journey continues and I pray my faith grows along with it.

And I hit enter on a blog entry that has provided with a distractions from something little bit more removed from what I have rambled on about for a few moments...

x