So this could have been the heaviest weekend of my life so far...
and i have had a few heavy going times of my life...
I have been to a training weekend with the fabulous people of Hill House camps... and while i am still feeling worse for wear... fragile... and unsteady... i know i have been blessed...
An amzing lady and a wonerful friend Cat took the sessions to challenge each of us as leaders to make sure we are spiritually prepared for our roles on camp... we work with young people and their lives, if we arent looking after our own how can we start to interact with others? (another whole new blog topic there) So the theme was purity...
And OH has God gotten on to my case!
Now i need to evolve you knowing a lil bit more of me than i normally post... and some of this wont make sense as you will not have the whole picture but i want to pass on what i am going though and learning...
I have stuff up and gone wrong in my life in my past (havent we all?!) and i have still carried so much of that around with me as guilt, thinking that i need to hold on to the rubbish as part if my idenity... while i know this isnt how salvation in Jesus works... sometimes it takes a little while for us to tag on.
Over the course of the past 7 days i have been placed in many situations to talk to many people about very personal stuff both happening in my life and in my head... It would seem that God needs to send me massive great big helping hints in my walk with him in my life...
Last weekend was the end (or another start) to healing from a certain situation i have been wounded from for a long time now. Its is wonerfully scary just how God links up and makes sure that everything is in the right place for just the right time. Part of my healing required me to stop or move on from a friendship... i had not spoken to this friend for well over 2 years, but we have gotten in contact for about a week, just before i went away to Hill House... this reuniting was a lil scary and i wasnt too sure what was going to come of it... but that i didnt want it to ruin or get in the way of my relationship with God...
and i have had a few heavy going times of my life...
I have been to a training weekend with the fabulous people of Hill House camps... and while i am still feeling worse for wear... fragile... and unsteady... i know i have been blessed...
An amzing lady and a wonerful friend Cat took the sessions to challenge each of us as leaders to make sure we are spiritually prepared for our roles on camp... we work with young people and their lives, if we arent looking after our own how can we start to interact with others? (another whole new blog topic there) So the theme was purity...
And OH has God gotten on to my case!
Now i need to evolve you knowing a lil bit more of me than i normally post... and some of this wont make sense as you will not have the whole picture but i want to pass on what i am going though and learning...
I have stuff up and gone wrong in my life in my past (havent we all?!) and i have still carried so much of that around with me as guilt, thinking that i need to hold on to the rubbish as part if my idenity... while i know this isnt how salvation in Jesus works... sometimes it takes a little while for us to tag on.
Over the course of the past 7 days i have been placed in many situations to talk to many people about very personal stuff both happening in my life and in my head... It would seem that God needs to send me massive great big helping hints in my walk with him in my life...
Last weekend was the end (or another start) to healing from a certain situation i have been wounded from for a long time now. Its is wonerfully scary just how God links up and makes sure that everything is in the right place for just the right time. Part of my healing required me to stop or move on from a friendship... i had not spoken to this friend for well over 2 years, but we have gotten in contact for about a week, just before i went away to Hill House... this reuniting was a lil scary and i wasnt too sure what was going to come of it... but that i didnt want it to ruin or get in the way of my relationship with God...
Anyway... as the weekend plodded along it become clear i needed to ensure my friends were healthy for me (and the other person)... Temptation is a huge thing for everyone... many give in and many stay strong... i know my weaknesses and with that knowledge i have to have the responsiblity to make sure i dont set myself traps to fall in let alone the traps that already before me in my life...
So with a 45 min conversation on a very cold night outside in a car park... one of the most blessed times happened when saying goodbye... God is revealed in the most strange of places, but God was most definitly in my tears and in the voice i was talking to...
The real point i knew just how much this time was a point of no return, was the point God had revealed to the person i was talking to something i had never shared with anyone else... the impact of actions done on how i reaction now... no one knew this secret of my heart... my fears and yet here was healing being brought in the most unexpected and almost simple way.
I know this isnt make much sense to anyone... even the ones who know the whole story! But what i really wanted to say is just how much God blessed me.... i am still very fragile... but i have learnt so much... putting this into action will be hard... but God is most definitly holding my hand and walking the path with me.
While i didnt drown in my tears.. it still will feel like this for a little longer... God grants healing and learning like a true Father.
May we all learn to lean a little more, hold on a little more and wait even longer... being happy to do so.
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