So its been a heavy week... Oxford, meetings lectures and writing... all the craziness that is my life at the moment...
But its how i have acted and reacted that i have learnt something new about myself...
I know i tend to paint my world as i see it and then expect it all to be the same.... and i have realised i do this with my friendships... But thats not to say i expect the person to stay the same, or that i want out friendship to remain static. But that how i have that friendship maybe changes and i just wasnt not aware that it was... and so i react and i dont like it.
Being the kind of person i am have i a few people in my life that i lean on and ask of them to help me keep my sanity... its that relation that has made me realise that i dont know how to change with the flow of life when the role is shifted... How to i learn to help the people of my life i lean on?
I dont think any of my relationships are one sided... but i need to learn how to help when my 'help' resources need it? How do i stop getting annoyed at the changes, and just be there? How do i stop the level of expectancy?
How do i make a balance happen?
Where do i find out how to help... when i cant help?!
I need to learn to look out more...
So here is my public apology... to one of of the closest friends of my life, i am sorry i can be a crapo friend... i will try harder lol and i love you!
x
LISTENING TO- Highness by Envy and other sins
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