I write blogs for a few reasons but tonight it's to share how I feel and maybe give hope to anyone is a similar situation who may stumble across this ramble...
Today my dad died
For the last 5/6 years we have spent our time thinking most days could be the last, making plans and putting them on hold and in the end watching the human being who gave me life be reduced to a shell.
I say this without bitterness or even resentment. I believe whatever happens God has a bigger plan than I'll ever comprehend... I say it in observation as I cooly and calmly bring myself to understand the man who gave me my wit and sense of humour is no long here, I no longer have the hero to be a side kick to in the comdey due of the house.
It's been tough for my family to come to terms with what's been happening. Many will plead the case it was unfair for my dad to have spent such a long time (for want if a better word) dying. And to die at such a relativly young age of 60. And I don't know- of course I would love him to be here, to still laugh with and try to solve the worlds problems in one of our late Friday evening chats, and I cetainly never want anyone to go through what he did...
But our lives are in chapters, some we think will continue how we want and others are changed and are altered...
I can never pretend to know everything, but I know that there is safety in not knowing. I can't fool myself with falseness or blind myself to truth. But I do know this...
My dad will be missed by many
My dad is now no longer suffering
My dad was secure in his faith and didn't fear death
My dad will leave his mark on this earth that will continue for many many years to come
And
My dad is my dad and I am proud of him for his whole life esp these last few years.
X
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