At times I get so annoyed at being a woman... and being single... I know this is an age old rant.... I have made week in and month out... but I will probably go on about it until something (someone) else happens... then it will be something else...
But for now... you can choice to read this rant... I have the continual battle... of being genuinely happy being single... and then there is the gut killing feeling every now and again that when I see people being happy in couples... I become some jealous monster where it seems my eyes really DO turn green and all I want to do it cry, stomp, shout and then moan... I normally get to the crying stage... cry then feel annoyed at my annoyance and think I should get back to my ‘happiness’ of being me... and so the cycle continues...
Mr Bell in his great new book SEX GOD points out how lust (of anything) become a master (biblically shows it too)... and how we aren’t truly free is we are under the slavery of lust... we have freedom in Christ... as a Christian I know this and believe whole heartily... and that’s amazing!... but what I am realising is that I can still give myself over to other masters all my life... I can try and try to make Jesus my master... my creator knows best... but I still wander away like a child who needs rains but isn’t in them...
I continually ask God to help me and think I know better and ask in order for me to stop wondering off I need to have the thing I wonder off for with me then I wouldn’t wander off anymore... Rob Bell points out we always want something else... that extra thing... if God gave me what I wanted... then I would want more of something else... my problem isn’t solved... I still seek to serve another...
I ask you a question... what makes you wonder off and serve another master? How do we get back on track and not wonder off again and again?
LORD- please help me to keep on track, but more than this, help me to understand and feel 100% secure in my journey with you...
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LISTENING TO- backyard by Natasha Bedingfield
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