last night i was annoyed

So i got a little annoyed last night, wrote a long blog and then the site crashed and it was lost into the nothingness of laptop land...

after i have just tried to re-write what i think i wanted to say i have decided to delete it... no it is no more!

(just realised just how many 'e's are in the word delete has!)

So what is my thought for this evening?

I have some thoughts on youtube... but i want to think some more before i unleash them!

ok... does the desire to be loved make the world go round?

love is about trust, acceptance, doing anything for the other person... without these things why are we here?

We are made to be relational beings... made to love... but can we really understand what that means and what the effects are?

Sacrifice is the ultimate action of love, and yet most of your earthly thinking is on bargaining.. what is it worth... if i do this what do i get or what happens to me if... conditional love is a dangerous thing to have and yet its a human (sinful human) thing to have, the game we play.

Like it or not, many people believe Jesus did the sacrifice which beats all others hands down... he died so we might live, i know this... i know it in my head and i know in my heart, but only at a glimpse do i know it in my heart... i still wonder why Jesus died for me, i feel worthless, not worth bargaining for let alone loving Unconditionally... yet he did... he made me in the first place!

There will be one day where i will be able to understand more, i will be restored into the human being we were meant to be at the start, the human without sin... perfect and without fault... i cant wait for that day to come... the end of depression, i can hardly believe could happen... but it will!!!!!!

x

LISTENING TO- Kasabian- Shoot the runner