A good Christmas reflection...

http://www.myspace.com/iamyourhomeboy

Well its Christmas, and I figured I would take a little time off from celebrating my birthday to write a short blog about the holidays. Today's topic is the fat jolly man that people have come to love so much. I wanted to clarify something for the world, good ole Saint Nick and Myself are actually good friends. I have nothing against him, but I do have some issues with the culture that surrounds him this time of year. It seems that people would rather believe in Santa than Me. Just think of all the so called "Christmas" movies made every year. They are mostly filled with this misleading notion that everyone needs to have a little faith in Santa. For some reason they try to perpetuate this myth of Santa to the children. Now I know its just so the kids could have a little fun, but in truth it is damaging to My celebration. Not even Saint Nick would appreciate what has been done with him during the Christmas season. He has been made into a Christmas god. It's funny how people have always wanted to worship anything except the real God. Take a look at the Hebrews right after they were freed from slavery, it didn't take them long to create an inferior golden calf to worship, and today we have done the same thing with Santa. Americans have created an inferior Christmas god, to worship yearly. Its not that Santa represents bad morals and ideas, its just that he is not a good icon for what Christmas should really be about. Think about the songs people sing when it comes to Santa:
"Making a list, Checking it twice
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice"
Since when does being naughty or nice have anything to do with Christmas? If you really look at what my birth is about, you see that the gift of my life doesn't just belong to the people that have been nice all year round, its for the people that have been naughty as well, and really its for them more than anyone else. See I came for the loss, the broken, the hurt… The Naughty; yet we teach our children a very non-Christmas idea. We try to teach them that Christmas is about what you can earn by doing good, but if we perpetuate this lie we are really doing a great disservice to Christmas. My birth was about receiving a gift that you could never earn, no matter how naughty or nice one is. This is the trouble with Santa, he brings an inferior idea of what Christmas should really be about, My Grace. So this Christmas I pray you all will remember the grace I brought to this world several Christmas's ago.
Love JC
P.S. Yes I know that December 25th was most likely not the actual day I was born. The church changed the date of many Christian events to help the process of evangelism to many pagan cultures. The church tried to replace those pagan holidays with Christian ones, and in many ways it worked. People can argue about whether this is a good thing or not, but does it really matter? I am primarily concerned with people being made aware of Me and My story, and if that means that our traditions are simply the product of Christians adapting my story to the pagan culture than so be it.

Well its done!

Happy Christmas to all who read this rather late Christmas edition blog!

i have tried to keep the computer use to a minimum over the Christmas time or i will just lose any type of life i have left!

Christmas was different again this year... i think i will try to keep my own tradition of keeping it different each year... i dont want to fall asleep each year, bowing down to yearly tradition and forgetting what i am really celebrating... the birth of Jesus who came to become the saviour.

So em had my company for Christmas day, well from Christmas eve infact... and we had a quiet one... we did... nothing! which for a couple of youth workers was a difficult task to, when you areon the go somuch its hard to just stop... but maybe thats a disipline we need to bring into our lives more than just once a year.... (thats a whole blog itself)

Well.... the nothing consisted of opening presents... Church... eating... cooking what we ate... looking at what we didnt eat... forcing what we didnt eat to be eaten... TV... music... games... and face packs at 1130pm

a great day all in all!

em read the blog from 'Jesus' from myspace... i will paste it into the next blog... (tis good!)

but i do wonder if i should go back to the myspace land... i just dont know if i care enough to do it... but i do like the chance of more attension from yet another web pages with me on it...

x

LISTENING TO- Lily Alen LDN

things change...

I have become to think about my friendships over the past few weeks...

I love all my friends, and value their input in my life.
But howcome the balance sometimes just isnt right?
I have many different groups of friends, i seem to have different worlds with different sets of friends...

The hardest thing is the fact that these groups of people have nothing to do with each other apart from me. I know that the different groups have grown up from different times in my life, different settings and the fact is the people i love are very different at times.

But what happens when i seem to be losing my oldest friends?

I know things change, we all grow up and move on, but what about the casualties of the heart we have as we continue to walk down these paths?
Then things fizzle out and nothing more is said... how can you talk anymore? Am i scared of what i will hear? 'I don't think we are as close as we were'... if i know this what can i do about it?

When you break up with a guy you make it final.. or it will just get worse until you do...
But what about friendships? If we grow out of a relationship when does it end? Please dont get me wrong, i dont want to finish any friendship i have... but when things change what do we do?

How do we move on without bitterness?

Maybe i am thinking too much again

x

LISTENING TO- radio one waffling (still)

Well i didnt do that badly....

So my last post was to plug my seeling of MUSE tickets on ebay...
Which i have sold!
But i didnt make any money!
Sad but true... i broke even... so i have managed to buy MUSE tickets for myself... but no Cheaper than normal price...
Never mind... its the game we play!
X

LISTENING TO- radio one waffle talking

it is ebay time again...

hello to all my wonderful readers... all few of you!
I have to tell the world to bid on ebay once again... this time to fund my MUSE habit...
I am selling 2 seated tickets to see the wonderful band in wembley next summer... it looks like it will be a fabulous gig... so hit the link and bid.. or at least watch...
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/2-Muse-seated-tickets-Sunday17-06-07-Wembley_W0QQitemZ110069346449QQihZ001QQcategoryZ16067QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Unfortunitly i havent gotten the skills for knowing how to make it a nice lovely one word link yet so we just have to look and click on the blah blah blah of this unsightly link!
x

LISTENING TO- nothing i got too excited about sellling something muse related!

Healing...

Its funny, healing can come at times when you dont think it will happen...

This blog might not make sense in places... but i will try!

I have had quite a distrutive love life which i havent really gotten over. I know and understand healing can take time, when things cut deep in our lives you cant expect it to heal over and stop hurting straight away.

But waiting can be just as painful...

It has been well over 2 years since things were messed up and finished with, but my heart still pangs and yelps when i am dragged back in my memories daily.

But this week things have gotten a little lighter, for now it seems i have begun, but stay focused on the fact this healing comes from God and no one else is hard.

I had an email from someone this week which has allowed me to move on and see things in a different light. My feelings have changed, but finding what to do with these new and changed feelings is difficult!

I cry cos i am angry,

i stop feeling so angry

and i cry cos it has been replaced with love of some factor...

its never simple

oh hug me now Lord!

x

LISTENING TO- start guitar by the chemical brothers

Illness is crappy...

So the reason for the lateness of these blogs is cos i have been ill... and i mean snotty ill.

I have had a nasty cold which has meant my head is like the M25 and blocked up at every possible moment, snot city.

Not to gross you out... but i feel i like to share these things for time to time... i mean write about it for you to read not 'here is some snot for you' sharing.

At least i didnt take a picture eh?!

x

the start of Christmas...

Well Christmas celebrations had to start somewhere this year, and college was the place to hit it off... and it turned out to be a mixed and varied evening!

The first thing i have realise is just how close to come to death of a day to day basis, the amount of times i nearly died due to lack of air at the Christmas shin-dig from laughing is crazy! Em and i can offically make each other laugh! In fact we had a whole evening to entertain ourselves it seemed! As you can see from this picture our company for the meal was er.... just us! It would seem that to be fashionibly late to a college Christmas meal means you get to sit on your own table! Now i might break out into a rant at the this point but i will try my best, i know that there were people who wanted us to move tables (with everything still on it!) and others who wanted us to join different tables... but we got a lil arsey and wanted to brood by ourselves towards the end!

But really we had a great time, apart from the nearly killing ourselves from laughing too much. We were given various cracker toys... well actually thats not true, by being the only two people on a table meant for eight we had a futher six crackers to bang, after we were 'kind' and let sarah nab a few extra for her table we decided to pull open the rest for ourselves. After nearly giving myself chest pain from hitting myself each time when pulling the cracker.... here are the fruits of our labour.... I think we did well!

But the entertainment did keep us happy for while... just as if we had been sat on the kids table we acted up... I think we found an excellent use of em's new tunnel!

I think that one of the table highlights has to be when we tried to see how many things we could hold while being in a photo and looking happy... oh and take the picture ourselves!

All in all it was a good evening, and as em has writen in her blog, we did have a few in yates to the go to the same night club we always seem to end up at in Bristol.... and i have to agree... please please can we go somewhere new next time? While i do like my bands etc it would be good to get a varied musical diet when we journey out!

Gotta say this next pic is an all right picture of us... but i have really posted it for the funny people behind us.... they spent most of the night snoging... while they come up for air this is their faces must has stuck like....

Well i could stick around and post many many more pictures of our adventures... but i will leave that for another day...

x

LISTENING TO-everyday i love you less and less by the Kaiser Chiefs

My tears maybe warm but they still sting

So i have the eternal question of... why is it when things seem to be getting to you yet another thing comes along to stick the boot in?!
i spoke with a friend yesterday about the annoying fact of life that us girlies do in fact like the male attension we, at times, get and when its not happening we want more of it than ever. We both realised (or at least i think we both did) that its more annoying that we have this reliance on blokes and their attension to us than the fact we arent getting any attension.
Why is it that once you have experienced something its so SO difficult to to not want more?!
It makes you think life as a nun from the age of 16 was a good plan, one of which is just too late for me and would now lead to a life of resentment!
It add issue to this problem, i had an email from someone in my pass, who should remain in my pass... (it is a messing area, which has never really been cleaned up!) and its been messing with my head all evening! And again it bugs me that fact it bugs me, not the fact i had the email.
Why is moving on so hard?
I know the bible answer...
I know what God is saying to me....
Yet my heart wont listen...
x
LISTENING TO-nothing, i am too busy stomping about

Lets try a deeper thought....

So have finished work... and ii am trying to stop my head from spliting in two... my head hurts, my usual migrain has come to visit me... i hate it not just because it hurts every time i blink, but because i get so ratty with everyone, i just want to hide in a dark room and sulk till i am better...

which is what i will do once i have done all my jobs here in the office...

I just wanted to bring something to ponder on before i go to bed......

(silently)

night!

x

well hello!

Grr at this silly silly blogging set up, everytme i write the title i hit the enter button thinking i will just get a new line... but everytime sure enough i get to save a draft of nothing... great one!

Anyways now i have gotten over this i will write today's blog!

I have been doing nothing much today, and i do really need to make sure i have everything set for youth work tonight but i wanted to up load the pics from Basement Jaxx before i did anything else... well the pics that are ok before the grumpy man came along to rain on my day...

Im not sure who the support was... but you can just about make out the best drum kit ever.... metalic PINK!

does this look like a picture i could get money for hmmm?!!

still its a memory!

you gotta have the kilts man!!
let me hear you jump and shout!! woop woop!

There are a few more but that will do!

i might return laters

x

LISTENING TO- Snow parol, The finish line