How things change...

So at the moment life its a little different...

In fact it will probably never be the same ever again...

New life...

This coming Saturday  I have been asked to give the 'talk' at a local Youth Service... which i am looking forward to in a kinda 'oh my' kinda way. But it is a great way of keeping my grounded... the more i have to think and reflect on things that are outside of my head the better....

I have been given the topic of 'life'... the idea came from the new term and new life in Christ thinking...

And i am realising right now this minute i am two steps over the edge of the new life i have now...

My new job is great... being part of a community and serving, using my skills to continue what is happening and thinking about starting new projects and adventures.

However i say two steps off the edge as this new start i can never return from or start again... My father is in hospital, and is dying. It is unlikely he will make it to Christmas, and daily is becoming less and less like himself...

My new life will have someone missing and my relationships will change as a part of thing.

My dad is safe and secure in his faith, and strongly believes he knows what will happen once he has died... the bible talks of the security we have in Christ, and i can see this in action more than ever right now.

Neither of us are scared of death... which is something so many people it would seem are and fight so hard against. I could rant about so much more on this but i will leave it for now...

I want to keep on track with thinking about life... New life...

When we are born we have life, some would believe its part of one continuous cycle, as one dies another is brought into being. Others, like myself, would say a new life, a whole new person, a fresh being.

But it doesnt just stop there does it?

New life doesnt just start at the minute you were born into this world, while it does, isn't there countless more times we start again, we begin a new chapter. Some are chosen, and some just happen...

But this brings a challenge of what do we do with this new starts. These new lives we have... what does it mean? What can be the impacts?

The list could be endless of the positive or negatives... but doesnt it bring a sense of freedom? Certainly in the Christian faith you begin within the Freedom of Christ when you start your journey.

Looking at what it means with what will happen to me soon... i will start again a new chapter with no earthly father... is this a kind of freedom? Not to say i wish my dad dead, nor say i am trapped within parental concerns. But that this freedom is me standing on my own feet... i HAVE to grow up a little more. I will still be the silly little girl who seeks attention at all times... but that the responsibility of my father for me now rests on my own shoulders and not his.

As i look to prepare my talk for Saturday i will be looking at the new and asking what does it mean? what do we lose and what does that change?

I dont want to give the answers... i want to help to seek to explore...

May God help me

x

LISTENING TO- Bloc Party- Like eating glass

The field of many I just have one thought right now...

Lots is happening... and will return to write what that is later...

But all i wonder right now is why at a time love seems to be needed to most do i fight so hard to only want it from where it should come from and run from the places that help?

x

LISTENING TO... Too late by Mr Hudson and the libaray

See... Youth Work is such hard work at times...

X

I've been thinking...

Over the last few weeks things have been kinda difficult... most of my friends have been away, ill or moving... and with the added family illnesses stuff, life hasn't been all that easy...

loneliness has ruled...

anger came to stay...

and

questions set in...

i am doing better now... it took having my head melted down and re-set with a few sharp words about my work that allowed me to recognise just how deep the hole i had dug had gotten again...

i fear it every  time... the darkness of the pit that sometimes we just do not realise we sit in until someone shines a light and makes us look at the walls we think are closing in on us

this isnt a pity party... my blog isnt meant to be, but i want to write about the reality of life. being a Christian isnt a free pass to the end... life is hard- plain and simple

without valleys we cant see the mountains... and all that...

in a resent meeting i had to read about how the church should be the foreground of setting the bar for honesty- that we should be a place where people feel that they can be honest, be truly themselves...

this also calls for us to be honest about where we are with God... to find space to explore our doubts, the book we read expressed how faith needs to have doubts, places where God can reach in and use these points to deep our relationship with him.

while my faith takes a battering- but i can never let go and not believe...

the reason i started this blog was because i wanted to say something on the title 'life is a journey... walk with me for a while'... i wanted to say that that journey continues regardless of who is or is not with me/i/us on the path... and while my path sometimes is alone i can still walk along it.

x

LISTENING TO-  Cemeteries Of London By coldplay

PRAYING FOR- a friend's dad

Just a quick one...

So its been a while since my last blog... but thought it was time to update...

It would seem lots and yet nothing has happened in the last month or two...

Uni is over

New job is on the horizon

New home is in progress (ish)

Friendships are changing

All of these stations make me think and re-think what i know and hold dear, uni is finished and it has been 6 years and two degree in the making... but i will take my first steps into the big wide world very soon...

My friendship group is changing... well moving, my uni friends are all being grown up and getting jobs and most take them further away than they were already... but i am sure new people and new adventures will still be cropping up in my life!

Congratulations to my two very good and amazingly fantastic friends Jenny and Ash on the wedding last weekend... it was an honour to do the address and have a fantastic time making people cry by talking about love muah ha ha!... but really it was a lovely day :D May you have the best marriage in the world... until its my turn of course! :P (and then we will be two happy happy couples!)

Right before i get caught up and late for work...

just a few pics to highlight my few weeks...

 

love to all you readers

x

LISTENING TO: Wake up Scarlet by Duke Special