Bear with me on this one...

So it is Monday afternoon and it is time I start sorting my head/life out...

Recently my posts have been about emotion and reactions to situations... and this one while I am hoping to clean out the corners of my thinking, will still be on the same line!

I have had a rubbish weekend... while I have had chance to see friends, reflect within a church dynamic and to spend time working in a job I love... inside my over thinking head has been working at hyper-drive speed. To the point that I wind myself up so much my heart races and I have a desire to pace...

I know that this is not anyone else's fault, however I do recognise these reactions are normally from an interaction with someone, or some situation.

I am sat here trying to work out quite how I do it, what sets me off and more importantly how do I stop or at least cope better?

Looking at what set me off this time it could be down to my mass ideology setting, or placing an expectancy on others which either was never expressed (so how can I expect anyone else to know what I am thinking and/expect) or not needed (placing people into how I think they should react or act with me... I know I can not dictate how people interact with life... but I wish I could!)

So if the issue is that I keep it in my head until I explore with fear and tears... it makes sense to seek to get it out before I get to that place...

easier said than done... this means I need to be more honest and open, someone has to listen to my ramble (when I know I don't make sense!) and the fact its likely person I really need to talk about it is busy... or unavailable... the person who started these reaction thoughts :S and a reason why I get to the situation I am in now 9and other times)

This morning I cried out in desperation at God, and I know everything begins and ends with God... but at times I just don't understand why things or happen, or worse I know why things are happening and I don't like it.

What do we do when we find ourselves just so angry you want to sulk?!

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LISTENING TO- retirement by Kaiser Chiefs